Are You Dealing with Heartbreak, Divorce, and Relationship Issues?
My name is Dr. Richard Wu, and I am Board Certified Psychiatrist. This blog post is written in honor of a dear friend, who had her heart broken by her ex-boyfriend when she found that she had been lied to and cheated on. For those of you out there that can relate to this situation, I’m truly sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves the negative emotions that come from lies and betrayal.
If this has happened to you, I know that you feel absolutely heartbroken and downtrodden. You feel betrayed. You feel like you may never try a romantic relationship again. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and I can help you through this difficult time, and help you move forward with future relationships.
The Importance of Your Feelings
Initially, you may have felt anger and resentment towards your Ex. How could he or she have done this to me? Why me? I have put in all I have to turn this into a healthy relationship, and all I got was a broken heart!
After the emotional experience of anger and resentment towards your Ex subsides, you may blame yourself. Was it my fault? Is there something that I did that triggered this? What could I have done to prevent this?
These feelings are common and are a way that our inner psyche utilizes to try to rationalize what happened. However, there are some things that are out of our control. Your ex-romantic partner may have hidden a long history of infidelity from you.
Your ex-partner may have succumbed to a moment of weakness with another person. These are situations that are totally out of your control. You cannot blame yourself! Even the best detective in the world cannot predict this.
Often times, people who are going through a stressful event try to distract themselves from thinking about the finality of their long-term relationship by redirecting their focus on work or engaging in new hobbies to keep from thinking about it. This may work for some people, but, for others this does not work to drown such difficult emotions.
A Few Recommendations
I often recommend surrounding yourself with close family and friends while mending your broken heart. Surround yourself with people that really know you and will always have your best interests at heart.
Please don’t isolate yourself, as this would only increase the excessive ruminations about the situation.
Please don’t turn to alcohol or drugs to numb the emotional pain inside of you. For some people, substance abuse may temporarily numb the emotional pain inside, but once the alcohol or drugs wear off, the emotional pain of a broken heart will rebound in greater intensity.
To truly satisfy one’s heart, you must look deep inside for what brings happiness and joy in your daily life. This is easier said than done. It takes time. Sometimes up to several months to get rid of the negative feelings.
We must remember that time heals all wounds. Don’t be afraid to cry. Tears are healing for our soul. It allows us to let out those pent-up emotions and heal. If we keep those negative emotions to ourselves, then, the healing process will be hindered, affecting your quality of life.
You Are Not Alone
Remember, you are not alone. I am here to help.
If you find yourself struggling with these emotions for more than several months, then, please seek help from the mental health professionals at Meadows Psychiatry.
Often times, psychotherapy, in particular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, can be effective in ameliorating these emotions and feelings of anxiety. If psychotherapy is not adequate enough, then, the addition of antidepressants can be effective in helping you overcome these emotions, keep symptoms of depression at bay, and help you return to a normal life.
If you are in need of individual therapy, please request a consultation with me.